me and my pencil~~

salam aidilfitri...

hope it still not late for me to wish you guys a happy eid...maaf zahir batin ya...I read a book recently and found a story about a pencil...so I modified it a bit and post it here...I like that story because of the massages it left for me...so enjoy it...hoho

Ichi: A pencil can write anything by the hand which hold it…so let’s put myself at the pencil’s place…I actually capable in many things but then I must never forget that there is a hand guiding my steps...that hand I refer to God…because everything happen surround me is actually with His will.
Ni: Now and whenever I still need to stop writing and need to sharpen my pencil…this may give suffer to the pencil…but then after all the suffer, it will sharp again…so again me too…I need to bear certain pains, sorrows and suffers which later will make me a better person…I also found quote in Quran said “with the hardship there is relief” which mean dengan setiap kesusahan tu pasti ada kesenangan yang akan menyusul…in surah [Ash sharh 94:5-6]
Sang: whenever I wrote wrongly, the pencil always allow me to rub off my mistakes…and I can write again the correct one…so this means that I always can make correction in my life too…correcting something I did actually is not necessary a bad thing…beside, I helps me to be on the road of justice.
Yong: the important part of the pencil is not the exterior wooden coat, but the graphite inside…so I need to be always pay attention on what is going on inside me…in fact in our Quran also mention that “dalam diri manusia tu ada seketul daging yang akan menentukan baik atau jahat manusia itu”…something like that the quote…if I wrote this wrong, anyone feel free to correct it ok?...
Go: the pencil actually always leaves marks…so in the same way, on whatever I do in my life actually will leaves a mark…so I need to be more conscious on each of my action…and also be responsible on each action…like been remind in our Kitab… “to any of you that chooses to be forward, or to follow behind-every soul will be (held)in pledge for its deeds” [Al-Muddaththir 74:37-38]
So as summary, I need to remember that everything happen is by Allah will, whatever hardship I need to go through so that I will improve, whatever mistakes correct them, control my heart and the feeling inside me, and beware on my action think before do anything.

yeah I'm single~~

Salam ramadhan almubarak
Hmm well don’t really have much time to update…hehe don’t have any thought to throw too…these two weeks surely very busy weeks till I don’t have any interest to study at all…so tired yet lazy…haha but then still need to study…pharmaco test will be tomolo…aiyyakkk…don’t even finish my revision yet…ohhoo so many drugs to remember…

Ahha forget bout that for a while…lately I feel like soooo lonely…haha thinking of if I have someone rite now, sure best…haha sound desperate je…but don’t get me wrong k?? I’m not so desperate…sehat je aku hidop single mingle haha…tader la sampai nangis2 every nights cause of loving someone but my love been rejected…bodohnye aku klu aku gitu…haihhh sound so silly gitu…kuikuikui back to my lonely lately td tu…then I open up my mail box…to check mail of course…huhu I got a mail entitled “usah risau jika kau belum berpunya”…I read this already…but because of that “silly lonely feeling” I read it again…

“Thank God, I am still single.”…that’s what I can say after reading it…(x kesa la bape kali aku bace, aku still said that)…we just human being rite…we dunno what Allah prepare for us in future…the most important one, I just wanna improve myself to be better…live the life I have now to the fullest…hehe

“Akhawatku,Kuhembus nasihat ini kepadamu tanda kasih dan sayangku kerana Allah. Bagi yang belum berpunya, andalah pilihan Allah untuk mekar terpelihara sehingga tiba pula giliran anda mendapat seruan. Yakinlah! Jangan risau jika masih belum berpunya kerena mungkin Allah ingin bagi ketenangan dulu buat anda, untuk terus melangkah menggapai cita-cita. Usah peningkan kepala. Dia menguji anda sedikit masa lagi”

From that paragraph, I hope that I am one of those women which still “mekar terpelihara”…I’m not said that those who having their lovers now, not ‘terpelihara’…don’t get me wrong k?...we all have our own life, just stay your life by your own way…hehe as for me, I hope I’ll stay single till the time comes…I never know, when…I’ll just continue my hope on Allah…I’ll just work on my list of improvements so that I’ll become better…because I trust with the promise that my Lord state in the Quran, “perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik dan sebaliknya”…so I wanna be perempuan yang baik, so that I’ll get lelaki yg baik later…well Allah knows the best for me and I believe in fate…if I having my lover rite now pon, if he is not for me, I’ll never be with him rite??...yeah may be some may say that, we need to “usaha” to look for our match…yes I don’t deny that…but I believe the is a way taught to us in our religion rite…so why don’t we follow those steps…rather than we searching for someone, the cintan canton without any ikatan pon…it will just increase sin of zina…well I realize that “things are easier to be said than done”…but if we want, we struggle for it, nothing is impossible kan…kita mampu mengubahnya!!!hoho

“Akhawatku,‘’Benar bahawa lelakilah yang memulakan langkah pertama dalam lorong dosa, tetapi bila engkau tidak setuju, lelaki itu tidak akan berani. Dan andai bukan lantaran lemah gemalaimu, lelaki tidak akan bertambah parah.’’Cinta sebelum berkahwin itu hanya menjerumus ke lembah dosa dan zina. Jika mampu bertahan kejinjang pelamin sekalipun, percayalah bahawa rumah tangga itu takkan berkat. Apa tidaknya, asasnya dibina daripada dosa dan maksiat.”

healthy animal got parasite??~~

Salam ramadhan almubarak
Hmm why this lazy syndrome come when my assignments is towering huh??hoho so many things need to be done by this two weeks before the holiday for the eid…haih really need to manage time properly…but then this lazy syndrome, how to treat huh???bley ke pki drugs??haha opioid??sedative/tranquillizer??anaesthethics, local??injectable??dissociative??or anticonvulsants??or analgesics??or CVS drugs??or GIT drugs??hoho if ade “anti lazy drugs” confirmed that company yg release that drugs untung besar…haha ape la aku mraban nih…ni bahana so many drugs to remember…haha how come I’d dreamed to be a pharmacist long long time ago if this no of drugs pon I think it’s a lot ehh??hmm well that one old school pnye story maaa..now struggle to be vet lohh..
Hmm I wanna throw a thought here…hmm got this idea during the parasite lect…while listening to the extremely energic lecturer, I digested a quote by him this morning… “a healthy apparent animal does not necessary do not have any parasite” something like this la that quote…for this particular subject, I understood what he wanna talk about…but I don’t think it need to be written here..hoho
What I wanna share bout that quote is if we applied that to our reality..our daily routine life…let change that quote a bit “a happy person does not mean he/she does not have any sadness”… “a person looked very kind one does not mean he/she really kind”… hmm why my post this time so unorganized ehh..by the way I just want to continue…lantaklah klu x phm..tp x susah pon hahah…well after living this so challenging life, I manage to learn the varieties of people surrounding me…sometime we made wrong impression on someone…but then after knowing them, we know them better, we know what the step next for our own pnye kebaikan gak la…let say, if u know someone and u think if u continue be friend with that person, u’ll suffer, so go away…haha but jgnlh sampai putus sillaturrahim…just don’t be too close je…same thing goes if you know someone, u think u get benefit form that person and at the same time u give benefit to them, so get along laa…don’t be too easy to believe people u just know in short time…don’t simply make decision, because you will regret later…haha take time, thinking and if need wat istikharah ke…just don’t judge a book by its cover…
The next case if we looked at someone happy2 je, does not necessary he/she x de problem…but then that person really secretive may be…do not really show his problem to others and also do not ever let the problems control themselves…but they are the one control the problems…haha memg terabur la post nih…x pe lah…btw, aku mmg nak sgt be like this…try not to let my probs controlling me…but then still x success lagi…mean that I need to learn more more and more…so go back and learn more!!!well we live to learn rite…face whatever challenge, improve whatever skills, seek whatever knowledge as long as we still alive..grab the chances…come hell or high water, life must be go on…live well of live hell, we the one who choose…hoho cam x de kaitan je…x kesah la slightly pon jadik laaa…haha
[if you can’t fly, run.if you can’t run, walk.if you can’t walk, crawl.by all these means, just keep moving]

from the bottom of my heart~~

Salam ramadhan almubarak…
Now waktu zuhur…tgh2 hari gini otak aku tepu sket…(alasan biasa bile malas nak stadi)…ngaku je la ko malas paah…hoho…aku teringat sumthing benonye ni…aku teringat nak kasi appreciation tu my laling2 (najwa sharipudin, shakira noh, farah aziz, simaa alway, julida jalil, dyana Hassan, n dayang kamaludin)… I think it’s not too late for me to thanks you girls…huhu dlm facebook tu temporary je…so I wanna make it permanent in my blog…kuang3… even masing2 ponat ngan dogathon stuffs…but girls u still manage to get a cake for my birthday…thanks from the bottom of my heart…but dah due thn korg sambut my birthday and I slept before that…hahaha I remembered last year one, dramatically woke me up by our best actress (u know who) hahahha…well I quite tertipu but very lalok that time…for this year very straight forward…got message from the same people jgk…on 1130 if I not mistaken…so x de la lalok sgt this year…hehe the same cake, the same peoples (minus maya )…but this time different place rite…at the court…thanks jugak girls for ur such wonderful presents…I’ll kept them nicely to show to my super2 grandchildrens hahahhahaah…but then, dyang n diyana one I’d finish them all…how to show huh??? Hehehe…fara, that cow is work…so you can throw the bill already…hihihi…ermm wat else eh…girls I wanna grab the chance here, to thanks you girls…and the most important one, I wanna apology too, forgive me girls if I’d done anything that hurt you with my conscious on not…maybe that time I’m under anaesthetics state, so that I can’t remembered whatever I said or whatever I did that you girls hurts but I didn’t know….huhu well everyone make mistakes right…we just human being after all…I hope our friendship will last forever…ade sikit2 misunderstand tuh, I hope we can take the benefit behind it…by that also we actually getting know each other deeper rite???and we at least can accept each other punye weakness…I have a secret on how to make our friendship last longer, dalam berkawan, kite kene pandai memberi dan menerima, jujur, ikhlas dan x berpura2 dlm segala hal…(mane ntah aku dpt nih….suke2 hati aku je) hahahha…anything wrongs yg our fren did, should be closed among us je… lagipon x elok buka aib org nih…because we do not know what gonna happened to us…hurm I think macam da melalut je ni…I better stop rite..if not I bley sampai kat antartika nnt…hahaha k lah back to pharmaco!!!hoho oh ya girls, I LOVE YOU ALL..MAY ALLAH BLESS US…UKHWAHFILLAH~~~

muke bahagie di hari itu..haha

we just borrow~~

Salam ramadhan almubarak…
By the title I wanna throw my thought on a borrower...As we all know, all of us are borrower…so it’s mean that whatever we have now is not completely ours…we just borrow them from God…the things we have in our hands now may go away in a blink of our eyes only…whatever He want things to be like, just said ‘kun fa ya kun’…how Powerful my Lord are…we as human being always forget bout this reality…once we have something we forget to be thankful to Him…that’s why, some of us will having difficulties whenever facing test of life…

As for me, I also sometime forget bout this…so when something happen to be mine gone, I’ll be very depressed, sad, frustrated, disappointed so on n so forth…oh God I’m a weak servant…forgive me my Lord…recently, I lost something…don’t wanna mention, let it just be me know…hoho…I felt like my world had come to the end…how unmotivated I am that time…hehe I wasted my time by thinking if I didn’t do that, or if I did it l like this and stuff bla bla bla…but I forgot one thing…may be my God is testing me… I found a quote in a book (didn’t remember the title)…the quote said:

“If Allah wanna give something better to His servants, He will test them first. To see how patient they are, how strong they are, and how they gain lesson from their experience.”

Subhannallah how come I didn’t think about this…I too depressed ‘meratap’ my lost till I forget the power behind this…hmm I have one thing in my hand right now…and I really love this…but I know I have to let it go…but I don’t know how…I just can’t let it go…I afraid of losing it…but then I’d try to let it go…actually I still on my way to do so…still struggling to make myself free from it…because I know it is not mine yet, and I need to let Him make the decision whether it will be mine or not…so guys, wish me luck to let it go ok?? Well I’m just a borrower after all…

For the end of this post, I would like to share something. My immune lecture had said:
“If you failed doing something, don’t think that it is the end of your world. Life must be go on and you need to make an improvement and do not repeat the same mistake”

random spill~~

salam ramadhan almubarak
so depressed!!!huh can't tell why but i feel it...
very stress...because of that feel...
i don't feel like talking to anyone...
i wanna be alone for this time being...
i wanna let this feeling go away...by any route i don't care...
just go!!!let go of me...
argghhhh wat happen to me actually???
why i become like this...
frustrated...really2 frustrated...
dissappointed with myself...
but it is between me...i'll settle it myself later...
for the other one...i don't know how i wanna say it here...
ohh God...i really hope that i'll see the benefit later...the best benefit...
calm down dear...
the reality is, people never stop looking at others and talking about others...
people will only stop talking bout you if you no longer exist in this world...
so take it easy dear...it is enough for me if only those who close to me know who am i...
of course it enough for me if only me know who am i..what i doing...
as long as i don't interfere others' privacy...those, who like to comment on others..
why don't you go back..think bout yourself...
don't just look for others faults...nobody perfect!!!
you'll never realise your faults if you always see others wrongdos
remember!!!we don't know how long we will be given this soul..
there may be no tomorrow for us...we never know!!!

Forgive me, my Lord for all my sins

my dear, wherever you are, whatever you do, remember don't forget of Allah...back to Him... only He know the best for you...the things happen in your life is all with the will of Him... so don't ever feel uneasy on how people look at you...the important one is how He look at you...it is ok if org x suke you...but you will be in trouble if Allah don't like you!!nauzubillah...

to remind me...
"Celakalah bagi setiap pengumpat dan pencela, yang mengumpulkan harta dan menhitung-hitungnya, dia (manusia) mengira bahwa hartanya itu dapat mengekalkannya. Sekali kali tidak! Pasti dia akan dilemparkan kedalam (neraka) Hutamah. Dan tahukah kamu apakah (neraka) Hutamah itu? (yaitu) api (azab) Allah yang dinyalakan, yang (membakar) sampai ke hati. Sungguh, api itu ditutup rapat atas diri mereka, (sedang mereke itu) diikat pada tiang-tiang yang panjang." [al-humazah, 104:1-9]